drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
