He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
