their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
