I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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