4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
