Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
