singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
