and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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