pop tarts are not kleenex
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
