I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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