literally had 100 drinks last night.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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