Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
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