Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize