Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
