Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
it glows. i had to have it.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You are the jesus of drinking
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
