Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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