I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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