I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Randomize
