had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize