My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
