after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
