i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The police scanner is talking about you again....
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
