Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
