i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Randomize
