Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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