I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
