he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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