in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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