No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You pole danced in your parka.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
