I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize