I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize