Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
