You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
