You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
