I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
