Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize