I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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