hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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