After last night, I could never be a politician.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
