i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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