I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
