marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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