i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
