'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Welp...herpes.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
