guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
