Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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