Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
