Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
