My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
