ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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