shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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