would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
