My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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