Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize