i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
