I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
