They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
