dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You are the jesus of drinking
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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