Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I have aggressive nipples.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
