What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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