Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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