How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize